The Pleasure of Giving

Just had the most extraordinary pleasure of being a coach for a delightful experiment called a Collaboratorium for TED Fellows.  13 Fellows, all of whom applied to be chosen for the experience, spent an entire day with a team of coaches and business experts.  Each team had a facilitator and each Fellow had an “advocate” to make sure that their charge didn’t get too overwhelmed.  It is easy to get freaked out by the experience of such focused attention on your heart’s desires and your grand plans to achieve world domination for good with your mighty intelligence and creativity. 

One of the consultants, Sunny Bates, truly a golden ray, did a special presentation on networking and raising money, said an extraordinarily beautiful thing: 

“We don’t ache for what we don’t have; we ache for what we can’t give.”

The bible tells us that it is better to give than to receive, and  in fact, the latest research in neuroscience does reveal that the pleasure centers of the brain show increased activation when we have an opportunity to give or to share, substantially more than when we receive something. 

The lesson for the Fellows (and for me!) was that:

• Receiving all the help over the course of day was much harder than it was for all of we helpers to contribute
• As hard as it is too ask for help, or money or support, if you frame the request properly and make it of the right people, they are delighted to help
• And in fact, that for the right person, being able to give is a greater contribution to themselves and their own deep pleasure than it is to you (at least in terms of the pleasure center in the brain.)

More on this electrifying experience  soon.